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Sunday, May 27, 2007

Tape Worm Skinny


What the hell is the sanitized tape worm diet?

Sanitized tape worms made it's debut about 100 yrs ago.It's the act of placing a parasites inside the body in the effort to lose weight. The parasite comes in a jar with directions to swallow the easy to swallow worm that nest in the gut and feed on digested food, causing weight loss.



What will a tape worm do?

Tapeworms surprisingly cause few physical problems for the host.
They attach to the intestinal wall where they feed.


Celebrity host?
There were rumors that Maria Callas, the opera singer, swallowed a tapeworm to lose almost 80 lbs. Guest model claudia schiffer was rumored to have used tape worms too.


Can tapeworms cause weight loss?

The parasite absorbs some of your digested food but not enough to make you hungry. The worm won't starve you, but irritation of your intestines can cause abdominal pain, diarrhea, nausea, reduced appetite, and weight loss.



What are the bad side effects?
Pork tapeworms cause serious complications when their eggs cause cysts in the liver, lungs or brain.


How can you become infected?
Easy. Parasites are in comtaminated water,
undercooked meats, improperly washed fruits/vegetables or can be transmitted by infected pets or people. You can also go back in time about a 100 years and have one sent to you lol!


~The Tapeworm Diet Pill Urban ledgend~
A few years ago there was a company who put out sure-fire diet pills, guaranteed to lose weight in no time. People began to take these pills, and in no time the people were losing weight. After a few weeks these people began to lose too much weight. So the government investigated. They opened the pills and found the head of a tapeworm. Tapeworms are hard to get rid of so they had the person starve himself for days. Then they set a bowl of hot milk in front of the person who had to keep his or her mouth open. After a while the tapeworm began to come up his or her throat for the the milk. The worms would keep moving up until it completely left the human host.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

This may be a legend but i would like to clarify for any poor souls wanting to get rid of a Tapeworm, that this is impossible!!! Tape worms live in your intestine and it is impossible for them to crawl out of ur mouth because of one way valves and peristaltic movements. Tapeworms have also been known to cause dementia once they have made their way into the host's bloodstream... this is irreversable!!!
Pharmacy tycoons may have done this in the past to increase their bank accounts but they have learned from their mistakes and if you are thinking about doing something as silly as this you should learn form their mistakes!!!
WORMS MAKE YOUR ANUS ITCH LIKE CRAZY!!!

Carmen said...

Eeeuw! tapeworms, how disgusting!

Carmen said...

Eeeeuw! Tapeworms, how disgusting! :-s

Anonymous said...

ok i came from east africa and this is a real problem treated as a disease in my country. there is a tradition to eat uncooked meat and so the disease is very common. yes this worm wont come out of your mouth but comes out your anus and sometimes only one third of it will come out and you have to pull out the rest from your ass.

i cant belive ppl go to this extent to lose weight

Anonymous said...

Well actually they can't crawl out of anywhere, and just pass whne you are given some medication. There are also herbal ways that cause them to break off.

Why not however? You don't know you don't have 50 different parasites in you right now.

Please you have one life to live, if you choose a life of toil after you've already worked all day (see gym) well you go waste the precious living days in a metal room lifting weights.

Not I! I've used a chemical lab of different drugs and methods to effortlessly loose weight, and ta da it works fine.

And completely healthy according to my checkups.

So please, do enjoy your workouts....tee hee

Anonymous said...

Wow, watch "House"

Anonymous said...

For those who said tapeworms can't come out of the mouth... yes they can.
They can also come out of the nose.

Frank said...

This reminds me of a 'Dr Who' episode where a race of aliens used humans as hosts for their babies. The 'Adipose' would utilise an amount of body fat from their Human Host; detach from the body in the middle of the night; and quietly exit the house, where it was picked up by human agents for the Aliens. The motto of the company that promoted the baby adipose as a "weight loss programm" stated that, "the fat just walks out the door"...

Be careful what you use for weight loss. You could be an unwitting host for some very cute alien babies!

2sleep

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